Now, I am no Victor Meldrew (too much style, darlings, too much style), but there are certain things that really make my blood boil. So in a cathartic act (this new life of mine is all about cleansing and new beginnings!), here are my top 10 things that annoy me in the business/marketing world. Feel free to post any back and let’s have a good old moan!
1. Right Image, wrong customer services.
People who go on and on about having the right image in business but then their customer service is rubbish. What is the point of building up a brand when you phone up and either get a call centre with people who can’t understand you or you are kept on hold for hours on end.
2. Pointless, overly clever ads
Now this is a tricky one. I do like ads where they are clever enough not to have any product placement (Cadbury’s drumming ape, for eg), but they have to be REALLY REALLY REALLY good and for REALLY REALLY REALLY good brands to get away with it. Some are just rubbish and don’t say anything about the brand or what it is they want the viewer/reader to think.
3. Pushy telesales people.
I appreciate that everyone has something to sell, but really, do they have to call up with such suicidal happiness, call me by my first name and ask me “How I’m doing today?”?!
1. Right Image, wrong customer services.
People who go on and on about having the right image in business but then their customer service is rubbish. What is the point of building up a brand when you phone up and either get a call centre with people who can’t understand you or you are kept on hold for hours on end.
2. Pointless, overly clever ads
Now this is a tricky one. I do like ads where they are clever enough not to have any product placement (Cadbury’s drumming ape, for eg), but they have to be REALLY REALLY REALLY good and for REALLY REALLY REALLY good brands to get away with it. Some are just rubbish and don’t say anything about the brand or what it is they want the viewer/reader to think.
3. Pushy telesales people.
I appreciate that everyone has something to sell, but really, do they have to call up with such suicidal happiness, call me by my first name and ask me “How I’m doing today?”?!
4. Complicated, overly wordy websites.
Just tell me who you are, what you do and how I can contact you, quickly, simply and in not too many words. Oh, and another thing, don’t make your site so big it takes ages to load…. But I don’t mind a few quirky lines and images thrown in here and there!
5. “solutions”.
Don’t ask me why, but it is something in my marketing brain that gets me properly riled when people say something like “the total…. solution” (mentioning no names - you know who you are, I tried to change you but I lost the battle). Just try sitting down and thinking about what you do. Or better still, talk to a marketing expert (I know a good one, cheapish too, drop me a line!).
6. "For all your business needs".
Seriously, ALL of them?! Every single one? Sorry, but I don’t believe it. Come up with a better strapline – please. If you can’t, I can help!! :-)
7. Pointless Leafleting
A couple of skinny girls, a thousand phone shop leaflets and one environmental waste. That’s all you get. People handing out leaflets willy nilly just seems a bit of a waste. It also makes the average Saturday shopping trip into a bit of a gauntlet run to avoid them, too. Now handing out a nice flower to advertise a florist, or cake samples for a bakery – there’s some good ideas!
8. Serial Networkers
You know the ones. The people (men and women) who go to every networking event they can find and then all they seem to do is eat the food and drink the drinks and collect business cards. But when you contact them afterwards they don’t reply to your email – WHY WHY WHY?!
9. Times New Roman
Yes, my friends, the font. I hate it. I can’t put my finger on why, I just do. Too many people use it and it is too flowery by far!
10. The tax man
Why’s he gettin’ all my money?! I don't believe it!
Just tell me who you are, what you do and how I can contact you, quickly, simply and in not too many words. Oh, and another thing, don’t make your site so big it takes ages to load…. But I don’t mind a few quirky lines and images thrown in here and there!
5. “solutions”.
Don’t ask me why, but it is something in my marketing brain that gets me properly riled when people say something like “the total…. solution” (mentioning no names - you know who you are, I tried to change you but I lost the battle). Just try sitting down and thinking about what you do. Or better still, talk to a marketing expert (I know a good one, cheapish too, drop me a line!).
6. "For all your business needs".
Seriously, ALL of them?! Every single one? Sorry, but I don’t believe it. Come up with a better strapline – please. If you can’t, I can help!! :-)
7. Pointless Leafleting
A couple of skinny girls, a thousand phone shop leaflets and one environmental waste. That’s all you get. People handing out leaflets willy nilly just seems a bit of a waste. It also makes the average Saturday shopping trip into a bit of a gauntlet run to avoid them, too. Now handing out a nice flower to advertise a florist, or cake samples for a bakery – there’s some good ideas!
8. Serial Networkers
You know the ones. The people (men and women) who go to every networking event they can find and then all they seem to do is eat the food and drink the drinks and collect business cards. But when you contact them afterwards they don’t reply to your email – WHY WHY WHY?!
9. Times New Roman
Yes, my friends, the font. I hate it. I can’t put my finger on why, I just do. Too many people use it and it is too flowery by far!
10. The tax man
Why’s he gettin’ all my money?! I don't believe it!
1 comments:
As you took the time to note my email address was wrong (Gosh hmmmm!) I felt comment was required, so here goes.
Comment, which I expect you will want to remove at speed!
1. It is all about sales, at every stage of building a corporation its about convincing or even conning people to believe that you are their to help them (but really its only the sales that are important and brand is just part of the ‘face’ to help that process). Companies talk about customer service, as it is what people want to hear, but when it comes to the real issues, like their shareholders or selling their own company, customer service is always glossed over, which is why it always comes a very poor second.
2. Quite. But advertising has deteriorated along with society, to a level where companies like Kellogs champion selfishness and greed. Advertising is now arguably reflecting societies own approach to selfishness and greed.
It is too much to expect people (in general) to think. They cannot. They can only respond or rant and rave and criticise.
3. Hmmm, I agree. Never answer the phone with your surname and then you don’t have to be in.
Anyhow, How are you doing today?
4. There are different types of people. Those that want ‘WoW’ those that understand images, those that just need concepts or statements and those that need to read the detail, they are ALL potential customers that should be addressed by the web site (a medium, which sells in ‘blind’).
5. Solutions or Products, lets “productise our solutions”. Generally most companies are very poor at being able to say what they do, as the boss at the top always pays the marketing bill and demands that his perspective is right (which it is, even when its not, as he is paying the bill).
6. I can help with all you business needs (no actually that’s a lie I would sub the bookkeeping out, and if I could, all of the hard work thereby join the ranks of central government)
7. Yep good ideas and related to good direct selling.
(P.S. man! – don’t do shopping as that involves milling around aimlessly in or near shops or possibly even a town) but the idea of the skinny girls caught my eye.
8. Serial Networkers are only interested in themselves and don’t have the brains to think something through remotely, hence they have to feed off others ideas at social networking events. (But honestly if you have the stomach it works, self-promotion and all that).
9. Sadly, having the benefit of a classical design training, - Times is a serif font which was designed with large X height lowercase letters, therefore on a printed page it is easier ‘on the eye’, especially as you read the white space around a letter. However this is not the case for the web as screens are based on pixels where sans serif works far better due to the shape of pixels, which are square. (Anyone left awake?)
10. Do believe it as it will get worse, because this has become a neo communist state, which believes in championing silly little causes (like green taxes and everyone rights) over profit, commerce and sound selling principles.
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